The First Apocalyptic Book of Nussle, called RAGBRAI (Day 1: Sergeant Bluff to Ida Grove)
I, The Lone Rider of the Apocalypse (alias Jimmy the Hustler), bare witness to the following accounts:
On the first day of RAGBRAI, Nussle said, Let there be beer and there were beer gardens and it was good.
Nussle (far right) contemplates riding the SAG van after his thorough inspections of the beer garden in Anthon.
And Nussle said, Let "Nussle Water" be gathered from hot springs under the heavens, bottled by cheap immigrant labor, housed in Wal-Mart Supercenters, and distributed by brainwashed volunteers to bikers along the RAGBRAI route. The bikers were dehydrated, the water was disgustingly warm, the bottles were chucked in nearby ditches, and it was good.
Stepford Nussle Drones attempt to baptize potential voters with "Nussle Water" as they hand out warm water to dehydrated bikers riding into the apocalyptic abyss.
And Nussle said, Let there be NO more illegal immigrants or homosexuals or persons exhibiting homosexual behaviors in Iowa, and the usual suspects were rounded up and deported to Mexico, regardless of their nationality, and it was good again.
And the evening and the morning were the first day.