Nussle Rules Out Career as Political Prognosticator

In case you are wondering, Jim Nussle is on the left. It appears "H & C" failed to recognize Jim, despite all the bright green Nussle signs in the background.

We all know that Jim has problems with fuzzy math, and when he uses these numbers to predict the future, his fuzzy math is merely exacerbated. The day before the election, Nussle appeared on the FOX News show, “Hannity and Colmes,” with fellow Republican Adulterer, Rudolph Giuliani (I mean c’mon folks, anybody named after Rudolph Valentino, “The Great Latin Lover,” is predestined to be a major player. Watch and see as he brings his A-game hustle to Iowa when he makes a run for the next president).

During the interview, Colmes confronted Nussle with the poll numbers from "The Des Moines Register," which indicated he trailed Culver by nine percentage points. Nussle shot back, “Don’t bet on the polls, Alan. Be careful…The Democrats bet on the polls last time, and they lost the election nationally….”

Unlike Colmes, who responded he doesn’t bet on polls and he’s not a betting man, I am a betting man. Any hustler who is in touch with his inner-pimp is a betting man. That’s the only way to keep the hustle alive, breathing steadily, until your next mark shows up and the hustle swings into rhetorical action.

The moment I heard Jim say this on FOX News, I contacted my bookie and bet the spread. I bet everything, and what do you know, “The Des Moines Register” was spot on. Thanks to Jimbo, I have a golden parachute to land with in January when Jim abandons me for the lobbying world -- which remind me of another lesson I learned in the world of hustling: Always have a “Plan B”tucked under your sleeve, because it’s hard out there for a pimp, eh Rudy?

(Be very careful ladies, one of these "Great Lovers" is coming to Iowa in an attempt to woo you and your vote. Keep your doors locked and don't answer any unauthorized numbers, for both men are said to be armed with an indefensible sex appeal and are to be considered dangerous.)