Nussle Wants to Replace “Doublespeak” with “Nusslespeak”
Nussle would like to take the level of political discourse one step lower by advocating his own version of neo-Doublespeak, “Nusslespeak.” Doublespeak implies there are two meanings and Nussle would like to help simplify the rhetorical process by reducing language and political discourse to just one meaning, Jim’s meaning -- or “Nusslespeak.” Internal polling at “Nussle & Flow” indicate that the less potential voters know about an issue, the more informed they feel about their decisions when it comes to participating in the manipulative process.
To help voters become better informed citizens (see glossary) and fully participate in the manipulative political process, the downsized staff of “Nussle & Flow” has created an abridged glossary of terms and Nusslespeak translations. Here are just a few:
accountability: holding individuals and the institutes they serve responsible for their actions, especially to the taxpayers
Nusslespeak: accountability is primarily reserved for the public schools and does not include officials elected to either the legislative or executive branches of government* or corporations who contribute large sums of unmarked bills to Republican campaigns (buzz words: standardized testing, moral obligation)
*This includes extra-marital affairs and/or other biblical sins.
big government: multiple layers of bureaucracy piled upon one another, thus making government less effective/efficient; Outside corporate factors which control all or part of the government
Nusslespeak: friends (campaign contributors) who support Nussle’s policies. (buzzwords: NCLB, Office of Inspector General, Blue Ribbon Commission, statewide education standards)
economic development: luring businesses to Iowa with the intent of lining pockets of wealthiest Americans who reside outside of the state
Nusslespeak: payback time for fiends in D.C. (buzz words: corporate hog lots, outsourcing, tax cuts)
informed citizens: people whose main source of information doesn’t come from FOX News
Nusslespeak: base voters and/or the roughly 49% (or less) of voting pool, who, because they’re informed about all of the candidates, choose not to vote for anyone (buzz words: Nussle supporters)
quality of life: improving the overall quality of life for ALL straight, white Iowans, who are middle-class or above
Nusslespeak: deporting illegal immigrants, outlawing gay marriage, recapturing the “whitest” state crown, transplanting D.C. culture in Iowa (buzzwords: immigration reform, homosexual agenda)