Saturday, September 30, 2006

Dr. Nusslelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Christian Right (Part III of the Trilogy or: The Last Stance)

SPECIAL FEATURES

Deleted Scene: The following scene was aborted from the original studio release, but was included on the Director’s Cut version of Dr. Nusslelove or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Christian Right:

(As if performing a political séance to help save Gubernatorial Candidate Nussle’s candidacy, Quack Surgeon General Bob Vander Plaats, Gubernatorial Candidate Nussle, and Dr. Nusslelove are gathered around a Ouija board in the War Room. Candlelight fills the room and creates a halo-like glow over their heads while emanating an ominous reflective glow off the collective plastic faces of the Bush bobble-doll shrine hovering in the backdrop. All three men have their hands gently placed on the Ouija board pointer as the great political board guides their collective hands and responds to their questions.)

General Bob: Will we win the election?

Ouija: N-O

Nussle: No!? You’ve got to be kidding me…?

Ouija: K-I-D-D-I-N-G-?

Nussle: Never mind. How did we lose?

General Bob: What issue will prove to be our downfall?

Ouija: A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N

Dr. Nusslelove: I told you not to jump in bed with the Christian Right. No offense Bob.

General Bob: Huh?

Nussle: Well which one of the seven stances on Abortion should I have taken?

Ouija: ?

Dr. Nussleove: Should there be any exceptions, circumstances, or cases that would allow for an abortion?

Ouija: I-M-M-A-C-U-L-A-T-E C-O-N-C-E-P-T-I-O-N

General Bob: But what about my precious bodily fluids...?

Nussle: Immaculate conception? I’ll be damned if I’m going to be held responsible for aborting the Second Coming…

(The walls in the room begin to shake, toppling over Jim’s extensive collection of George W. Bush bobble-head dolls. All three men freeze and lock hands as if caught in a collective prayer, and smile at each other as The War Room slowly comes crumbling down to Vera Lynn’s uplifting tune, “We’ll Meet Again”:

We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when
But I'm sure we'll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through, just the way you used to do
Till the blue skies chase the dark clouds far away
Now, won't you please say "Hello" to the folks that I know
Tell 'em it won't be long'cause they'd be happy to know that when you saw me go
I was singing this song

We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when

But I'm sure we'll meet again some sunny day

MONOLOGUE: Yes, we'll meet again. Darlin', I don't know where and I don't know when. But I KNOW we'll meet again one of these good ole sunshiny days. Ya know, darlin', all ya gotta do is just keep on smilin' through you know just like you ALWAYS do, until the blue skies chase the dark clouds far, far, far away. I wantcha to do me a favor, please say "Hello" to all the folks that I know. Well, just tell 'em it won't be long. They'd be happy to know that when you saw me go, I was standin' right here, singin' this song.

We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day…)

Director’s Commentary: Jimmy the Hustler

We ended up pulling the apocalyptic ending, namely because of Gubernatorial Candidate Nussle’s improvised final line: “I’ll be damned if I’m going to be held responsible for aborting the Second Coming…” Although Jim, his Republican posse, and the Christian Right use the Second Coming to infuse fear and get voters to vote their fears rather than their consciences, they’re also well aware of the potential ramifications if the Second Coming actually did happen. Simply put, they’d be in a world of hurt for the mess They’ve created. Face it, anyone who has actually read all of The New Testament knows that if Jesus comes back now, he’s going to be seriously pissed off…

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Regarding your blog about fc chelsea merchandise. The best site for fc chelsea merchandise is **http://www.freepremiership.com**. http://www.freepremiership.com is the top free osccer website in the world and features the latest Premiership club news, fixtures, scores, scorers, radio streams, tv streams and lots more football links.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

single parent match

10:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.adquity.com
Classifieds for our community. Buy, sell, trade, date, events... post anything. Adquity Classifieds.

http://www.adquity.com

2:49 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home