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For every political action, there is an equal but opposite satiric reaction.

Straight Talkin’ McCain Declares “War on Bloggers”

It appears Senator John McCain did not heed Jimmy the Hustler’s advice when his political posse commandeered Jim Nussle’s dispossessed campaign headquarters in Urbandale:

Get out! This office is possessed by demons hell bent on destroying those who attempt to dance with the Christian Right. If you don’t believe me, just ask Jim. Get out before it’s too late. If you choose to stay, I suggest leading with the left.

(Read rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Newt Gingrich Threatens He’ll Run for President If…

...the GOP frontrunners don’t get their heads out of their asses.

(Read rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Bayh’s Run to the “Middle” Ends Before Passing “Go”

The Democratic Leadership Corporation’s very own poster boy for “centrism,” Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana, announced he would no longer pursue his long-shot presidential candidacy in 2008. “The odds were always going to be very long for a relatively unknown candidate like myself, a little bit like David* and Goliath,**” Bayh said in a statement, further postulating, “whether there were too many Goliaths or whether I’m just not the right David.*** At the end of the day, I concluded that due to circumstances beyond our control*** the odds were longer than I felt I could possibly pursue.”




(Read rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Immigration Roundup: Rep. Steve King’s Heart “Two Sizes Too Small”

Rep. Steve King, Iowa’s Master of Political Horror and vigilant Crusader against illegal immigration, weighed in with his response to the recent raid on the Swift & Co. meatpacking plant in Marshalltown. King’s primary concern, given the thousands of workers at Swift, was the low arrest rate -- hypothesizing that some illegal immigrants “went through the net.” It appears King has been watching too may “Planet of the Apes'” films.

During a raid on Swift & Co. in Marshalltown, actor and NRA activist Charlton Heston, was ensnared by Homeland Security ICE agents. During an inerrogation, Heston's documents revealed his illegal alien status, and he was later deported to his homeland, The Planet of the Apes.

King also revealed his true "compassionate conservative" colors, claiming that some of the children, who were left behind, may be American citizens and will be cared for as such while their parents are deported. Further flexing his compassion muscle, King had these words for the children left behind: “If the family wants to be reunited, there is such a thing as a family reunion on the other side of the border.”

(Read post in its entirety at "Political Fallout")

It Can't Happen Here

I just started reading Sinclair Lewis’s 1935 novel, It Can't Happen Here (Signet Classics):

“A cautionary tale about the fragility of Democracy. It is an alarming, eerily timeless look at how fascism could take hold in America. Written during the Great Depression, when the country was largely oblivious to Hitler’s aggression, it juxtaposes sharp political satire with the realistic rise of a president who becomes a dictator to save the nation from welfare cheats, rampant promiscuity, crime, and a liberal press.” (Book Jacket)

Sound familiar?

(Read rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Waiting for Hillary (Act I, scene i)

Waiting for Hillary: “A play in which nothing happens…”

World premier performed at Political Fallout’s Theatre of the Politically Absurd

Characters:

Estragon: former Al Gore Campaigner
Vladimir: former John Kerry Campaigner
Lucky: Jackass
Pozzo: Lucky’s Handler
Page

(Read Act I, scene i at "Political Fallout")

Kucinich Takes Time Off from Santa’s Workshop to Announce Candidacy

(Read announcement and post at "Political Fallout")

Feeding the Satiric Muse: Now Serving My Presidential “Hot List”

With all of the ’08 Presidential Hopeful Hot Lists already flooding the blogsphere (Common Iowan, John Deeth, Political Madman, Drew Miller, Political Forecast), I thought I would help contribute to the deluge (adding yet another layer to the ozone, eh Gore?) by focusing on the candidates’ potential for feeding the satiric muse.



(See list and read rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Invading My Space: The “War on Toms” (Update 1)

Tom Vilsack: 588 (376 on 11/25/06)

In an attempt to close the “Friend Gap” on My Space, I declared war on the Two Toms: Tom Vilsack and My Space Tom. Unfortunately the gap has only widened since Vilsack hit the campaign trial, making new friends in New Hampshire, Las Vegas, South Carolina, and other pit stops on the front end of the Presidential Caucus Trail of Tears.

(Read rest of post and join the war effort at "Political Fallout")

Got God?: Get Your Official Sam Brown Christian Conservative Values Scale

Just in the Saint Nick of time, God’s Senator, Sam Brownback, came out of Kansas’s closet and announced he’s a “full-scale conservative.” In his bid to become God’s President, Brownback weighed in on his own Christian Conservative Ideology, tipping the scales on his new invention and campaign product, The Official Sam Brownback Christian Conservative Values Scale. Self-anointed, “The Chosen One,” Brownback announced plans to form an exploratory committee in Iowa and plans to set up temples across the state to help spread the Boss’s word through his candidacy. The Brownback Camp, having recently come down from Brownback Mountain, plans to test market the new scale in Iowa -- so the people can figure out just how Christian they are, erasing any pre-existing ambiguities. Here’s a sneak preview of an advertisement:

(See ad and read rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Vilsack’s “V”: What’s in a Letter? (Part I)

The following is excerpted from the Democratic Leadership Corporation’s theatrical work-in-progress, The Tragedy of Hillary and Vilsack:

HILLARY

‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy,--
Thou art thyself, though not a Vilsack.
What’s Vilsack? It is not hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? That which we call a Republican
By any other name would smell of defeat…

& VILSACK

When Governor Tom Vilsack announced he was running for President, there’s been more buzz about his campaign logo than his actual candidacy. Regardless of what people are talking about, there still talking about Vilsack – for now, anyhow. The big question still remains: What’s up with the “V”?

To look deeper into this, Political Fallout will unfold a V-part series which examines the possible subtext, allusions, hidden meanings, and/or prophetic implications of Vilsack’s “V”.

(Read rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Presidential Hopeful Bayh Warns Democrats About Being Too Democratic

On the heels of forming a presidential exploratory committee, the Democratic Leadership Poster Boy, Evan Bayh, issued a warning to Congressional Democrats: I WANT YOU to be very, very careful about being too Democratic. This is not the time for partisan politics, ideology, or representing your constituents and their ideologies. All I am saying… is “Give Centrism a Chance!”

(Read rest of post and "Top 5 Signs the Democrats are Being Too Democratic" at "political Fallout")

McCain to Possess and Exorcise Nussle’s Old Office

U.S. Senator John McCain’s exploratory committee used this Sabbath day to exorcise the demons of Jim Nussle’s former campaign headquarters in Urbandale. Despite the presence of moral and political demons left behind by Nussle during his failed bid for Iowa Governor, McCain plans to take his chances and open his state campaign headquarters on Monday.

On Friday, McCain’s staff received a certified letter from Jimmy the Hustler warning McCain of the potential dangers of taking possession of the office:

(Read Jimmy's letter and rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Draft King's Sons by Instating Undeclared Draft

Upon his return from a backstage visits to the “Theaters of Global War on Terror,” Iowa’s very own Master of Horror, Rep. Steve King, suggested we supply the theaters with an additional 100,000 – 150,000 troops. Invariably, whenever talk of donating, sacrificing, or the spilling of “precious bodily fluids” is bantered about by the Masters of War, you can guarantee talk of reinstaeting the draft will rear its head, just long enough to be picked off by some political hawk who’s trying to protect his own “precious bodily fluids”.

Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) has proposed that we reinstate the draft, and King characterized his proposal as a political move (Aren’t all politicians’ moves political?) King contends we need to focus on more aggressive recruitment efforts.

I agree with both of them. We need to arm military recruiters with more weapons by instituting an Undeclared Draft, or what I would like to call, “The Undeclared Draft Act.”

(Read more and sign online petition at "Political Fallout".)

Draft King's Sons by Instating Undeclared Draft

Upon his return from a backstage visits to the “Theaters of Global War on Terror,” Iowa’s very own Master of Horror, Rep. Steve King, suggested we supply the theaters with an additional 100,000 – 150,000 troops. Invariably, whenever talk of donating, sacrificing, or the spilling of “precious bodily fluids” is bantered about by the Masters of War, you can guarantee talk of reinstaeting the draft will rear its head, just long enough to be picked off by some political hawk who’s trying to protect his own “precious bodily fluids”.

Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) has proposed that we reinstate the draft, and King characterized his proposal as a political move (Aren’t all politicians’ moves political?) King contends we need to focus on more aggressive recruitment efforts.

I agree with both of them. We need to arm military recruiters with more weapons by instituting an Undeclared Draft, or what I would like to call, “The Undeclared Draft Act.”

(Read more and sign online petition at "Political Fallout".)