Tuesday, June 19, 2007

President Bush Names Prodigal Son, Jim Nussle, White House Budget Director

Jimmy the Hustler is BACK…in D.C.!!!

Bush and Nussle share a dubious laugh about their latest duping of the American people

After padding his resume with a failed Iowa gubernatorial bid and running Rudy Giuliani’s presidential bid into the ground as his top consultant, President Bush’s prodigal son is returning home to his adoptive father.

Throw in Nussle’s failures as House Budget Committee Chair -- while serving underneath his adoptive father’s watchful eye -- into the mix and what do you get?

Answer: A job as the White House Budget Director, that’s what.

Now that’s some serious hustling.

Political Fallout contacted Jimmy the Hustler (“Nussle & Flow”), who released the following statement:

We tried to work our hustle in Iowa, but these folks ain’t buying. Apparently, they weren't too hip about the prospects of my better half driving ‘em into bankruptcy. They’re not buying my boy Rudy’s New York hustle either, so it was only a matter of time before Jimbo was bound to take his A-game back to D.C. If we play our cards right, we have less than two years to help bankrupt the country and return to a Darwinian socio-economic paradigm -- where only the strongest will survive and political pimps, like yours truly, will rule the roost. It ain’t going to be easy to hustle the American people, especially with the Bossman’s approval ratings dipping below sea level, but that’s where I, Jimmy the Hustler, come into play.

Cross-Posted at Jimmy the Hustler's favorite site: "Political Fallout"

Friday, December 29, 2006

"Political Fallout" or Bust!!!

"Nussle and Flow" has moved to "Political Fallout," your new home of political satire in Iowa. Jimmy the Hustler would like to thank you for reading his musings. Be sure to visit "Political Fallout," add your new bookmark, and spread the word.

Click here to read "Political Fallout" Now!!!

For every political action, there is an equal but opposite satiric reaction.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Straight Talkin’ McCain Declares “War on Bloggers”

It appears Senator John McCain did not heed Jimmy the Hustler’s advice when his political posse commandeered Jim Nussle’s dispossessed campaign headquarters in Urbandale:

Get out! This office is possessed by demons hell bent on destroying those who attempt to dance with the Christian Right. If you don’t believe me, just ask Jim. Get out before it’s too late. If you choose to stay, I suggest leading with the left.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Newt Gingrich Threatens He’ll Run for President If…

...the GOP frontrunners don’t get their heads out of their asses.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Bayh’s Run to the “Middle” Ends Before Passing “Go”

The Democratic Leadership Corporation’s very own poster boy for “centrism,” Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana, announced he would no longer pursue his long-shot presidential candidacy in 2008. “The odds were always going to be very long for a relatively unknown candidate like myself, a little bit like David* and Goliath,**” Bayh said in a statement, further postulating, “whether there were too many Goliaths or whether I’m just not the right David.*** At the end of the day, I concluded that due to circumstances beyond our control*** the odds were longer than I felt I could possibly pursue.”

(Read rest of post at "Political Fallout")

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Immigration Roundup: Rep. Steve King’s Heart “Two Sizes Too Small”

Rep. Steve King, Iowa’s Master of Political Horror and vigilant Crusader against illegal immigration, weighed in with his response to the recent raid on the Swift & Co. meatpacking plant in Marshalltown. King’s primary concern, given the thousands of workers at Swift, was the low arrest rate -- hypothesizing that some illegal immigrants “went through the net.” It appears King has been watching too may “Planet of the Apes'” films.

During a raid on Swift & Co. in Marshalltown, actor and NRA activist Charlton Heston, was ensnared by Homeland Security ICE agents. During an inerrogation, Heston's documents revealed his illegal alien status, and he was later deported to his homeland, The Planet of the Apes.

King also revealed his true "compassionate conservative" colors, claiming that some of the children, who were left behind, may be American citizens and will be cared for as such while their parents are deported. Further flexing his compassion muscle, King had these words for the children left behind: “If the family wants to be reunited, there is such a thing as a family reunion on the other side of the border.”

(Read post in its entirety at "Political Fallout")

Friday, December 15, 2006

It Can't Happen Here

I just started reading Sinclair Lewis’s 1935 novel, It Can't Happen Here (Signet Classics):

“A cautionary tale about the fragility of Democracy. It is an alarming, eerily timeless look at how fascism could take hold in America. Written during the Great Depression, when the country was largely oblivious to Hitler’s aggression, it juxtaposes sharp political satire with the realistic rise of a president who becomes a dictator to save the nation from welfare cheats, rampant promiscuity, crime, and a liberal press.” (Book Jacket)

Sound familiar?

(Read rest of post at "Political Fallout")