jimmy's journal: Bonbons and Flag Burning

Jimbo and I spent Tuesday glued to C-Span as we watched and prayed the gang on the other side of Corporate Hill would finally pass an amendment that would penalize unpatriotic people for desecrating our nation’s most sacred symbol, the flag. I could sense Jimbo was particular antsy, but no worries, Karen brought us a plate of bonbons and this seemed to passify Jimbo momentarily. That Karen is such a peach. If God ever created a woman who was a worthy exception for violating the sanctity of marriage, it was her. When Karen first stepped into our lives back on the Hill, I knew I wanted her, and I also knew it would be a soft sell on old Jimbo. As usual, I was right.

After inhaling a plateful of pinafores and several inflammatory speeches on the Senate floor, the Flag Desecration Amendment was rejected 66-34. So close, yet so far. I prepared myself for a good cry from the big lug. After his heavy sob session, I knew just the thing to help cheer Jimbo up. I brought out our scrap book, something that always seems to turn his frown upside down.

We began our trip down memory lane in 2003 when Jimbo cosponsored legislation to protect the American flag from desecration, which did pass through the House before failing in the Senate. I was so proud of Jimbo when he proclaimed: “"Our flag epitomizes all that is good, honorable and just about the United States. The flag symbolizes freedom, equal opportunity, religious tolerance and goodwill for other people of the world who share and admire our aspirations."

It was these inspiring words that made me proud to be an American as we embarked on our global trip shortly thereafter. Here are some highlights from our globetrotting expedition.

Upon arriving in Pakistan we were greeted by a Pakastani political entourage who were excited to see us. Jim wanted to meet with our new allies in the global "War on Terror." These gentlmen showed their enthusiasm, and Jim was quite pleased to see their fiery display of gratitude as they payed homage to the U.S. Flag manufacturing industry. Jim made a mental note (which I subsequently shredded) to send a personal letter to these folks in China and Malaysia, thanking them for their efforts and to inform them about the continued progress in the global market.


Our next stop was a Muslim Women Human Rights Peace Rally. Igniting a wake of enthusiasm wherever we went on our trip, Jim's presence could be felt at every stop. These women were no exception as they reached out to Jim and offered their many thanks. Jim was sincerely flattered by their aquiescence to patriarchal rule and made a mental note to make the preservation of women's rights the cornerstone of his gubernatorial bid in 2006. (This was also shredded by yours truly.)


During the trip Jim wanted to get a better sense of Iraqi teens, so we visited an Iraqi high school, and Jim had a chance to observe students during their lunch break. A group of students were playing a spirited game of what appeared to be an Iraqi adaptation of hacky sack, Jim surmised. Jim noted the main difference is that the students set the red, white, and blue hacky sacks afire, thus indicating the end of the game. Jim was pleased with the teenagers' capacity for innovation and quickly realized that American high schools would have to up the ante and set higher standards if they were going to compete with these kids on the global scale.

As predicted, this stroll down memory lane helped Jimbo put his disappointment aside. Jimbo sat there beaming with his dopy grin, and as if on cue, Karen entered the room with another helping of bonbons. God I love Amercia.

Yours Truly,
Jimmy the Hustler