Haiku Version of Jim Nussle’s Plan to Energize Iowa’s Future

While Jim hits the campaign trail in Iowa, pretending to listen and care about voters and their concerns, my mind is prone to wandering and seeking refuge from the hustle. Often times my mind manages to find a temporary reprieve in the traditional Japanese form of poetry, the Haiku. I’ve composed the following Haiku’s to help illustrate Jim’s Plan to “Energize Iowa’s Future.”

Achieving World Class Education

Pick ‘A’ for vouchers.
Choose ‘B’ to end public schools.
Guess ‘C’ for more tests.



Creating Jobs and Growing Iowa’s Economy

Wait for tax cuts and
Trickle-down economics
To do their magic.





Making Iowa the Renewable Energy Capital of the World

Take over the world
By pushing ethanol fuels
On third-world countries.
(sinister laugh here)



Providing Affordable, Accessible Health Care

Siphon profits from
Medicare Prescription Plan
To insure my Peeps.*

*Peeps is slang for “friends” In this context, Jim’s talking about lobbyists pimping for the health industries.

Restoring the People’s Trust in Iowa Government

Build bureaucracy;
Supersize our government:
Keep the public guessing.




Improving Iowa’s Strong Quality of Life

Promote bigotry
By putting the homo back in
Homogeneous.